Part Two

So to continue from my last post, the other major problem we were having was our family...specifically, our daughter.  Although we are under weekly occupational therapy, there was much more going on with her than just sensory processing disorder.  Our entire family was being impacted by her actions and attitude, and I am just going to say it loud...I didn't like her much.  She was truly abusive towards me and her brother, and her father too when he was available for punishment.  It was uncontrollable.  It was unlivable.  We knew things had to change when her little brother began copying her negative behavior.

We began trying to get psychological help.  We use a special kind of military insurance where we are able to pick our own civilian providers.  We've been doing this for 6 years, no problems.  It's been wonderful.  But here, in Hawaii (written with a growl), the providers do a horrible job of updating the system.  So I would call one doctor, get a phone call back 48 hours later that they were no longer taking new patients, or even better, they were no longer practicing.  After a few weeks of this, I got a referral to a pediatric neurologist...who gave us an appointment in April 2012.  This was in September 2011.  We needed much more help, much more quickly.

So, we arranged for us to be seen at the most comprehensive military facility on the island, which just happens to be Tripler Army Medical Center.  They have an entire child psychiatric wing.  They got us an appointment within one week.  And do you know what the doctor said to me during the phone consult?  "I can help you."

I don't think anyone has ever said that before.  Getting to Tripler isn't so bad.  Parking is...well, words just can't describe it.  I suppose it's similar to finding a parking spot in New York City, without the cabbies to yell at you.  But once you're there, I can only say wonderful things about this department.

During all these months, I had been trying to research my child and determine what we could best do to help her.  A year before, the neurologist wanted to put her on medication for severe anxiety. I thought he was wrong.  I thought we owed it to her to try other natural means to help, like changing her sleeping arrangements, starting occupational therapy, adjusting her diet.  And we did all those things.  Some helped.  But her tics were increasing until she cried because her head jerking wouldn't let her sleep at night.  The other kids teased her.  She would beg me to stop the tics.  And I couldn't.  So I kept reading and googling.

Until I found that for some children the treatment of anxiety can lessen the tics.  It all started to make sense to me, and I decided that by NOT trying the medication when we had tried everything else, I might be causing more damage than the drugs might do.  There were risks, but I finally decided that if she were diabetic, I wouldn't hesitate to give her the insulin she needed.  Why would I deny her what might fix her?

So when I marched into psychiatric that day, I told them I wasn't messing around.  We needed this drug for these reasons and this is why--our family is falling apart.  It is either me or this kid, but one of us has to leave.  I think the sign of a good doctor is that he questioned me on the need for meds.  It took three appointments to get the doctor to talk about medication and agree that we were at that point.

To be continued tomorrow....but know that we are all four still living together!

The kids at Bishop Museum yesterday